Healing- A Waiting Game

Updated: Jan 19

-Healing is something that can not be rushed. I often find myself in a circumstance of regeneration when attempting to heal. Regeneration: To be ‘re-born; brought again into existence; formed anew; restored to a better state. This process is beautiful however regeneration of the mind can not be forced into a quick process. No matter how badly someone wants to heal, it does not happen instantaneous. The cliche statement of "time heals" is the constant reminder that you can not just manifest a positive emotional mindset overnight. What you have had to go through is not your transgression however your healing is your responsibility. The lengthy time periods healing requires make it difficult to continue to honor that responsibility so how do we go from here?

-Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. writes that "Emotional healing is a little like climbing a difficult flight of stairs with some bumps along the way. You go up a few, then maybe pause or take a step backward, and then climb a few more. The problem is that the down moments can feel insurmountable to someone who has been traumatized or suffers from painful mood swings, but these are mere moments that you will overcome sooner than your fears would have you believe."

-In July, I was sitting in the car with my parents. We stumbled upon the conversation of emotional baggage. They happened to mention I should be logical about the person I choose for my future as I should not want to be with someone who has emotional baggage. I felt a warm tear slide down my left eye. How could my parents say this when I, myself, have emotional baggage. The week prior to this trip home, I had experienced something truly traumatizing. In fact, the REASON I was home was so I could take sometime to be with my family to heal. My parents were not intentionally trying to harm me or trigger me in this way through their words. However, unintentional or not, we can not change what other people say, we are only responsible for how we respond. As soon as my parents realize the effect their words had on me, their attitude changed from engaging in a thoughtless conversation to concern and remorse. Even if they hadn't apologized and made an effort to listen to how I felt in that moment, it would still be my responsibility to heal. I made an effort to embrace these emotions I was feeling and find a therapist as well as journal. Little by little we can take steps towards healing. Hopefully these reflection questions can aid you in your healing!


How do YOU handle the tough moments? Do you push these thoughts down?

If you're someone who has an avoidant conflict style, make an effort to register these emotions and thoughts you have as compared to holding them in.

Do you think that someone would look at your from an outward perspective and notice your motivation to heal?

What is one way you can take a small step towards healing this week?

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